


Gordon, For One Playcoin, I Can Introduce You to the Multiverse!

by EdgyAestheticUsername



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Body Horror, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Gordon and Benry get a lil competitive, Gordon sucks at coping, I mean kind of, I promise this is a not a game au, Kissing, M/M, Not A Game AU, Post-Canon, Wii Sports as a plot device, and wears awful sweaters that tommy picks out, benry can change size on command, benry has also been through some shit, but he's at least a good parent, gman shows up to talk to benry, gordon and benry bond over taking care of themselves and each other, gordon and benry finally start bonding in chappy 5, gordon gets to see that a little more in chappy 6, he also brings Josh pokemon cards, it just gets very meta for a hot second, it'll go a lot faster from there, it's not too graphic though, it's soft actually, its great, kiiiiind of? its injuries that aren't quite... worldly, more tags to be added/updated as this progresses, took em long enough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26217049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgyAestheticUsername/pseuds/EdgyAestheticUsername
Summary: After everything that happened to him, Gordon is having a hard time coming to terms with it. Seriously, his whole life was destroyed in one fell swoop, and then he got kicked while he was down. A lot. But... That's the past. He's getting through it like a dog wading through thick mud. He's not coping well, but he's not dying either. Everything is going to be fine, eventually. That is, until an eldritch he knows but doesn't actually know shows up in his home unannounced. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to Gordon either. But he'll get there, probably.
Relationships: Benry/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (background), Gordon & the Science Team
Comments: 23
Kudos: 125





	1. When Worlds Collide

**Author's Note:**

> Oooookay! So here we go with this!  
> Listen, the fic is the explanation, basically some weird timeline-crossing shit is happening and well, Gordon gets to figure that out as he goes. It's gonna be a huge mix of angst and fluff once we get into the meat of the story, the first chapter is more or less an introduction to my particular universe.  
> In the future, when they apply, trigger warnings will show up here!!!

The Resonance Cascade happened almost a month and a half ago. Nothing has been the same in Gordon’s life since, for a number of reasons, starting and ending with a group of utterly inhuman beings he befriended during the fight for his life in the place he once thought of as his second home. 

That’s a lot to take in. A simpler thing to do would be to take inventory of the present, not the past, honestly. 

Starting simply, Gordon doesn’t have a right hand anymore. His hand got sliced off by the military in an ambush, and Tommy’s dad tried to “fix” it. He stopped the bleeding, and more of his arm had to be amputated because of infection. Yes, that’s all one thing. It goes together.

Gordon also now has more time and money than he knows what to do with. It’s not hush money by any means, that was made clear to him by Judith, a lady he was only somewhat familiar with because she worked in his department. The hefty check he receives monthly from the still-standing Black Mesa corporation is compensation for what happened to him, because it was a freak accident. Never mind the fact that there was some kind of eldritch horror security guard in the chamber with him. So he’s got that going for him.

What else? Right, the rest of the group. His Science Team. Doctor Coomer and Doctor Bubby are getting the same kind of check he is, since they survived the disaster too. Gordon isn’t going to pretend he knows where all the money is coming from, but it’s letting the elderly couple travel the world and see it all. Oh right, they got married. Nothing fancy, it was a courthouse wedding. They wore nice suits still, they made it special. Gordon never once questioned where test tube baby Bubby got his papers from and he doesn't plan to. He feels like he doesn't  _ want _ to know, either.

And Tommy, he’s not sure exactly what Tommy is up to, but as far as he knows, the man got himself a nice house with a yard for Sunkist to run around in upstate, and he’s trying to bond with his weird dad a little more since he has free time. He's seen on Instagram that Tommy's picked up gardening, too. It's nice, even if most of his plants are carnivorous.

Oh, and Tommy’s dad. That guy is not human. He’s something weird, powerful. But he was afraid of Benry.  _ That _ was really weird. Sometimes the guy shows up to check on him at odd hours, to make sure that him and Josh are still alright.

God, and poor Joshua… Gordon is lucky Black Mesa was still paying for a daytime nanny for the kid, otherwise he doesn’t know  _ what _ would have happened in the week he was in Hell. Joshua was so worried, when he saw Gordon lying in the hospital bed, he crawled right up onto his dad’s chest and cried. That broke Gordon’s heart. But he's okay now, if a little more clingy than most six-year-olds some days, and any time Gordon has to leave the house. He's okay enough to be on sleepovers with school friends, which Gordon himself is a little wary of. But Josh has an emergency phone he knows how to use if he needs his dad to come get him. He takes comfort in that.

Shit, and Benry. Benry doesn't matter anymore. He's dead, Gordon killed him. In self-defense! Self-defense isn't murder, he reminds himself. Over a passport and a dick-slip that physically couldn't have happened. 

Right. That's life right now. That's Gordon's life. If he told his past self all of that the day before the ResCas, he never would have believed it. Not for a second.

Yet here he is a month and a half into a failing recovery attempt, alone in his little townhouse while his son is on a sleepover trying to teach himself how to play Switch games with one hand at 10:30 at night with all the lights on. Of course he can afford a prosthetic hand, he doesn't  _ have _ to play one-handed, but it fucking bothers his nerves. Tommy calls it a sensory issue and he guesses that's exactly what it is. He's declined all of the offers for Tommy to build him a new one.

Oh yeah… and he hasn't showered in about four days. He hasn't eaten more than a tube of go-gurt and a packet of gushers in three. He'd rather not think about the last time he did laundry, either. His own, of course. He's been feeding Josh, and getting him clean clothes, and making him meals, but for some reason, he can't bring himself to do the same as a grown-ass man. The one-handed excuse only goes so far, same with the lack of structure excuse. He has a son to take care of, he should have some kind of personal self-care routine worked out. Alas, he doesn't, and each day is just more tiring than the last, especially with Josh in school again.

Gordon sighs, and pauses the game. He's been driving into a virtual wall for the past ten minutes thinking about all that shit. It's time for a break. The notification light has been blinking on his phone for the last twenty minutes, he may as well check that. Lord knows he doesn't have the motivation to do much else.

"Guten tag, Gordon!" is the first thing he reads, and he can't help but laugh. "Bubby and I have just woken up in lovely Berlin! We are going to pick out lederhosen today! Expect pictures soon!" Attached is a non-Wikipedia article about what lederhosen is, which Gordon opts not to read.

The former scientist sits back for a moment to consider that mental image. Coomer would look fine, like a kind old grandpa out of a stereotypically German film. Bubby… not so much. Those pasty chicken legs should not be seen by the public. He'd never say that, though it does bring a genuine smile to his face. He sends back his well wishes and sets the device down. 

Gordon is about to unpause his game again when there's a strange, otherworldly sound in his fucking hallway. It's one he recognizes, only barely. It's the sound of a portal opening, the kind that Mister Coolatta makes. Mister Coolatta knows better than to just pop in now, though, least of all in his  _ hallway _ . Gordon sits up straighter, turning around to try and see the doorway across space-time. 

"Mister Coolatta…?" He asks, not getting an immediate answer. He stands, cautiously walking around the sofa to get closer. "...Tommy?" He tries instead, and again, nothing. "Uhh… guys…?" His voice drops significantly. He's barely six feet from the open portal now, peering into the near-unnatural darkness of it. 

He's about to back away when something- no, some _ one _ \- comes stumbling through like they'd been running. They tumble onto Gordon's floor with an unsatisfying  _ thunk _ and Gordon's blood runs cold instantly. His right arm throbs where his hand should be, his breathing picks up. He would recognize a Black Mesa security uniform anywhere at this point, even without "SECURITY" written on the back of the kevlar vest in bold yellow letters.

"What the  _ fuck! _ " Gordon practically shrieks. Using both arms to the best of his ability, he heaves the security guard up off the ground and sends him hurtling back toward the portal, fully intending to send Benry back to wherever the fuck he came from. Except, of course that doesn't work, why would it? The portal snaps closed moments before Benry goes through it, which means he just collides with the wall. His helmet leaves a major dent, and something in Gordon's brain wonders how hard  _ that _ will be to fix. Unfortunately, that's the least of his worries right now. Benry is  _ alive _ and  _ in his house right fucking now. _ Gordon stands over the entity, unable to move further and barely able to breathe. 

Benry groans, sitting up slowly with his back to the wall, his knees tucked close. His head is down, but Gordon clearly sees the black sweet voice leak from his mouth and float up, dispersing into the air around them. "'M sorry, I didn't mean to…" He mutters.

"What?" Gordon finds himself asking. 

"Didn't mean to… fuck up the game… 'M sorry, please don't break me again…" The being practically whimpers.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Though he's no less afraid, Gordon catches himself being… concerned. 

Finally, Benry looks up. His skin is pale, but so strikingly  _ human _ . More human than Gordon remembers. His eyes are the same, a striking blue hidden only partially by a pitch black shadow rather than the cat-like yellow Gordon recalls. He seems a lot smaller, too, and that makes Gordon take a step back.

"I know you're mad, just- please man, I'm begging you, don't fuckin' break me again…" He whines. His eyes are absolutely full of fear. 

"I… What? I'm not going to break you!" Gordon answers truthfully. As scared as he is of Benry, he's unarmed, and… something isn't right. Benry was never this afraid of him before. He moves closer by half a step. "What game are you going on about?"

Benry flinches, bringing an arm up over his face. More black spills from between his lips, some of it getting so far up that it brushes against Gordon's chest before it disappears. He feels a fleeting moment of absolute intense  _ fear. _

"D-don't- please don't, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please man, let's just go back to playing Half-Life. Half-Life, remember? I'll be uh- the funny little- little haha funny passport guy, we'll just… go back to normal please?" He starts to babble, reaching out to grab the leg of Gordon's sweatpants. 

Gordon only stares, blinking. He's damn right something is wrong. This is not his Benry.


	2. An Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gordon and Benry sit down and talk CALMLY about just what the fuck is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No new tags needed for this one! Just two bros having a chat :3

This isn’t his Benry, and he doesn’t know what to do with this information, or how it’s even possible. Gordon blinks, mouth hanging open with questions that haven’t been formed yet. He slowly starts to kneel down, Benry pulling away from him like his hand was burned. “Hey, I’m not gonna break you. I’m sorry I threw you, okay? Are you hurt?”

Benry’s expression turns from scared to confused in a second. “Why does that  _ matter _ ? Gordon, please, can we go back to playing?” He asks again.

Yeah, his Benry never called him by his first name. “Benry, there’s no game. We’re not playing a game. Please answer me, are you hurt?” He keeps his tone firm, as much as he’d like to be freaking out right now.

“Wh- huh? No, uh… full… I’m full HP dude.” Benry responds shakily, remnants of black spilling off his lips. He’s looking Gordon over, searching for something. His eyes stall at Gordon’s right arm, a look he’s used to. “Hey… what happened to your arm?”

Automatically, rage wells in Gordon’s chest. His Benry knows damn well what happened to his arm. This is not his Benry. He has no idea what this Benry is talking about. “There was an accident, I lost it.”

“Oh. Shit. That’s uh… sucks dude. Maybe you… fucked up.” Benry forces a laugh. The jab has no energy behind it.

“Yeah. Maybe a little. Do you want to stand up, man? Are you okay to?” He glosses over that detail, offering his good hand. Benry stares at it.

“I’m uh… not touchin’ your sticky little… little baby hand…” He mumbles, using the wall to help him get to his feet. Gordon stands with him, almost towering over the guard. Yeah, his Benry wasn’t that short. “Whoa. Uh…” He seems to shrink even further at the sight. “You uh…. You got a permit to be in here, man?”

Gordon sighs, starting to walk back to the couch. “This is my house, dude. Come on, something weird is happening here, let’s go sit somewhere maybe?”

“Whoa, haha, Feetman’s, uh… gamer pad. What cheat codes you use to get here man? Messing with the console? Using the smokeroom maybe? Lame-ass, cheating…” Benry’s tone slips back into that familiar teasing Gordon used to hate, but now it just concerns him. 

“I bought it, man. It’s legally my house.” He puts his hand on his hip, fixing Benry with a look. He hasn’t moved at all. 

“Oh dude, you talked to the jarl ‘n shit… main quest, achievement unlocked. Got a- got a key in your uhhh inventory now…” Benry trails off.

“I’m… not going to justify  _ any _ of that with a response. Just come sit down with me, Benry.” The former physicist’s hand comes up to run through his grossly greasy hair, pulling on it somewhat. 

Benry blinks at him. “Huh? What. Yeah, just fuckin’... stay five feet away, no homo dude.” Finally, he follows Gordon, dropping down on the far end of the couch.

Gordon does give him his space, plopping down on the other end. He pockets his phone as he does. “Okay… So… where did you even come from? Let’s start there.”

“Yo hey man, where’s your hev suit?” The question comes less as a jab, more like a sudden realization.

“They pried it off me at the hospital. After Black Mesa.” He answers simply. 

“Uhhhh there’s no… hospitals in Half-Life. You’re uh… fuckin’ with me.” 

“We’re not  _ in _ Half-Life, Benry. Is that where… you came from? From… a game…?” Gordon can work out the logistics of that later, probably with the help of Tommy’s dad. Right now, he just needs to know.

Benry blinks at him. “Why are you askin’ me that, huh? Got a lotta questions… uh, classified information. Can’t tell you. Duh.”

“Let me guess… you’d tell me if I had my passport?”

“Uhhh no? Where’s your passport though I need to see that now please thank you?”

“I had to destroy my passport in Black Mesa. Look man, I’m just trying to help you. Do you not want my help?”

“...What the fuck are you talking about? This bit’s getting old, can we just… play the game please? I wanna skip this cutscene…”

“Benry, this isn’t a fucking game!” Gordon spits more forcefully this time. He watches Benry flinch and instantly regrets it. “Seriously. You’re not in a game. I’m not in a game. There’s no fast forward, or reset or… whatever. This is real life, and I’m trying to figure out where the fuck you came from, because I’m  _ so _ confused right now. You’re not the guy I had to murder.”

“You killed a guy? Whoa, that’s illegal.” Benry quips.

“It was self-defense! And the guy was  _ you _ ! Or, like, a version of you? I don’t know! Can you just work with me on this? I’m starting to freak out, man!” Gordon snaps, jumping to his feet again. His hand is still in his hair.

Benry’s expression doesn’t change, but his mouth opens. A beam of blue orbs shoot in Gordon’s direction. “Calm down, don’t freak out please?”

Gordon doesn’t even have to touch this one to feel the effects, a soft, calm energy forcing its way into his brain. He slowly sits back down. “Okay… Yeah, no, you have a point, look… I just… It happened almost two months ago. I killed a guy that was you. I thought you were him coming back from the dead. But you’re not. You’re… that guy but to the left kind of. And you keep talking about  _ video games _ , I don’t get that.”

“I’m an epic gamer, dude, I know… all the fuckin’ games…” His voice drops off at the end.

“No, I mean… you keep talking like you’re in one. And uh… unless  _ I’m _ in a game too, I’m pretty sure you’re not. It’d be a little meta to play Mario Kart in a game.” He gestures to the TV, which has darkened somewhat by now as his console tries to go to sleep. 

“Yoooo you got uh…. Super Mario, bro? Fuckin’…. Jumpman plumber boy rescuing… fruit bitch. Yeah.” He forces out a soft laugh.

“Benry.  _ Please _ focus with me here for a second. I’m not your Gordon, you’re not my Benry, but here we are in real life together. Where were you before you came though that portal?”

Benry’s calm expression slowly starts to drop. His eyes shift away from Gordon. He curls up, pulling his knees back up as he does. “I was in Black Mesa, duh… Fuckin’ Dumbass…” He mumbles. “Broke the game again… Portal opened… Didn’t wanna get hurt, so I… jumped through. And uh… now I’m in your cringe house on your fail couch. Fuckin’... yeeted me into a wall, dude. Not pog.”

Gordon nods, starting to understand both what happened, and Benry’s fear. “Okay… and your Gordon, who was… probably just an avatar… would have been mad, right? That’s why you asked me not to break you.” Benry nods. “Okay… that helps. I’m sorry I threw you, man. You scared me as much as I scared you, I think.”

“I’ve done it before.” Benry adds.

“What?”

“Half-Life. Black Mesa. I’ve done if before. I know what happened to you.” He gestures to Gordon’s arm. “‘S why I was confused.”

“Oh, wow… Okay, that’s. A lot. God, I’m glad Josh wasn’t here for this… Here, why don’t I get you some water or something, and then… I’ll call Tommy’s dad, maybe. He knows about… interdimensional travel… This is basically the same thing.” Once again, Gordon gets to his feet, this time headed to the kitchen. 

“Don’t need water. ‘M not human, remember?” Benry calls to him.

Gordon stops. “...Yeah… okay. I’ll just… Go call Tommy’s dad, then.” And he does. He makes his way off to his bedroom, pulling up G-man’s contact as he walks.


	3. Here Comes A Special Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we get to see more of Gordon attempting to cope with his depression, and also meet Joshua for the first time. Meeting Joshua goes better than expected, at least on Gordon's end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning for some depression stuff! Gordon just has trouble with day-to-day tasks, and there's some detail about that

Gordon hangs up the phone even more worried than when he dialed it in the first place. Mister Coolatta isn't coming over, not right now, and offered absolutely no helpful information about why there would suddenly be a different Benry outside of, "That's not very good". Yeah, no shit, old man. Obviously Gordon didn't  _ say _ that, but he's sure it came through in his tone before the line was closed. He sighs, phone back in his pocket, hand twisted into his hair as he returns to the living room. 

From the hallway, he can see the back of Benry's helmet, and it looks like the… AI? Hadn't moved at all. "Uh… Tommy's dad is worried. He's not coming, though. So um. Yeah." He lets out a shaking breath, finally releasing his hair. He harshly wipes his hand on his thigh to get rid of the oil. "I'm… fuck…"

"Oh, yeah? 'S cool, bro." Comes the soft automatic response from the couch.

Gordon shakes his head, going to the kitchen to get himself a cup of water, which he downs while standing at the sink. It spills down his chest some, but he doesn't really care. Then he goes back to watching Benry, this time from the opening to the kitchen. "Do you um… need anything? Like… I dunno, blanket or something? Place to sleep?"

"'M not human. I don't sleep. Fuckin'... Dumbass Feetman, forgetting shit…" Again, the jab has no energy at all.

"Okay… Then uh…" Gordon starts to go around and turn off lights, leaving on the one in the living room. He also goes to put away the Switch, shutting it off. "Do you… want the remote…? Watch TV?" He offers, only to get a blank stare in return. "Ooookay. Um. I'm … going to bed. Please… please don't kill me in my sleep or like… do anything weird… please. I have to go get Josh in the morning, I don't… He can't… yeah." Gordon stops himself, raising a hand to Benry for a moment. Again, no response. "Good night, I guess." He makes his way back into his room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

The next morning, Gordon wakes up to his alarm slowly. He's groggy, his head hurts, and there's crud around his eyes. Right. He cried himself to sleep again. Of course. Gordon sighs and shuts the alarm off, rising like the dead when he's finally ready to sit up. He doesn't bother to look for his glasses, instead just opting to squint at the blurry screen. There's four new texts, all from Coomer. Two pictures. Problems for later, he decides. With a groan, he stands, and shuffles to the bathroom where he stares at his reflection. He looks as bad as he feels, actually. He looks gross, and tired as hell. And, he thinks, a little dead behind the eyes.

The sink gets turned on with cold water, Gordon doing his best to splash his face and rub the crud away from his eyes. It makes him feel a little more awake and a little better, honestly. He glances to the shower, considering it. He slowly nods to himself. He can handle a quick one, maybe. Try to wash his hair. After, he'll brush his teeth. He has to be at least halfway presentable to go and get Josh, anyway. 

* * *

The shower is less productive than he expects. His hair doesn't get washed, and he resigns himself to being okay getting labeled as the greasy dad. He does brush it out, at least. Then brushes his teeth and gets some cleaner clothes. They don't smell bad, in any case, and he doesn't either now. It's an improvement. Not a big one, but an improvement nonetheless. He makes his way out to the living room, still glasses-less, with only mild fear of what he'll find there. The brain fog is still very, very thick. 

Benry is still there on the couch, and hasn't moved an inch since the previous night. Even the overhead light is still on despite the sun blaring in through the window at the far side of the room. Gordon makes his way into the kitchen as quietly as he can, pausing at the pantry to look over the contents. He shakes his head, then picks up a k-cup. Caffeine for breakfast today, and quite possibly for lunch, too. He loads the pod into the machine and picks out a mug, adds water, then hits start.

A few minutes later, he has a steaming mug of black coffee in front of him, which he adds a shameful amount of sugar to. He takes a sip, relaxing slightly, then he goes out to the living room to face the eldritch being. "Hey." He manages, gesturing slightly with his mug. "You uh… doing okay…?"

Benry looks right back up at him, looking the former scientist over. "Hey. Shirt's inside out, bro. Epic fail." Is all he says in response. 

Gordon looks down at himself. Oh, yep. N64 logo is on the inside. Kind of a fail. "Shit. Thanks." Without even a second thought, he sets the mug down and slips the shirt off in a way that flips it around without him having to struggle with the fabric. Once the shirt is back on, right side out this time, his attention falls back to Benry. "...What?"

Benry eyebrows are clearly raised, eyes fixed on Gordon. When he opens his mouth to speak, a few orbs of reddish-pink spill out. "Huh? What. Hey bro what happened to your arm?" He quickly covers.

Gordon sighs, retrieving his coffee and taking a swig. "Whatever. I'm going to pick Josh up pretty soon here. Please don't… be weird with him. God, Benry, don't hurt him, either…"

Benry makes a face. "Bro what? 'M not gonna hurt anybody. 'M not fuckin'... mean. You're fuckin' mean. Assuming shit."

"Okay, I just… I'm about to leave you alone in my house, I just- I just don't want you trying shit, okay? This is my life." Gordon explains. The caffeine is kicking in, clearly.

"If I wanted to fuck up your life that bad, I wouldve had all the time in the world while you were sleepin'. Sleepin' like a lil baby. Lil baby Feetman. Thinks I'm gonna fuck with his stuff…" Benry laughs.

“Yeah, like a baby… look. Are you sure you don’t want something to eat before I leave? Otherwise I’m just gonna finish my coffee and go.” Gordon makes like he’s using his right hand to gesture back to the kitchen.

“Whoaaaa bro who gave you coffee?? Babies shouldn’t have coffee bro, makes you, uh… small ‘n shit.” Benry continues.

“I’m going to take that as a no, then.” Gordon sighs, muttering a “whatever, man” into his mug.

* * *

Almost an hour later, Gordon steps back into the house singing cheerfully along with whatever song had just been on in the car, Joshua held in one arm acting as his backup singer. The way Gordon is shuffling, it’s like he’s trying to do a little dance along with the song, too, but also trying to get the door open and his shoes off on the way in. Benry turns to look at them, clearly shocked by the sudden noise. 

Josh suddenly smacks Gordon in the face, right on his cheek. His other hand points to Benry. “Issat your friend?” He asks, then wave. “Hi! I’m Josh!”

Gordon snorts as he gets hit, then chuckles. “Yeah kid, that’s Benry.”

Benry waves slowly, clearly still shocked. “Uhhh ‘sup. ‘M Benry.”

Josh gets set down then, Gordon pulling a backpack off of his shoulders and handing it to him to carry instead. “Why’re you wearing a helmet?” He asks.

“Uhhhh looks cool.” Benry answers shortly, looking up at Gordon.

“It  _ does _ look cool! Do you play video games?” Josh starts to bounce, moving closer to Benry. 

“Joshie, honey, let’s go put your stuff away, okay? You can bother Benry later.” Gordon encourages, trying to steer the child down the hall. 

“No no, he’s fine, he’s good. I uh… Yeah I play games, little dude. What’re you into?” Benry questions, seeming to relax a little more. Gordon raises a brow at that.

Joshua beams, starting to bounce on his toes. “I like Animal Crossing, and Minecraft, and Fortnite, and Mario, and uh…” He looks up at his dad. “Daddy, what else do I like?”

Gordon laughs genuinely. “We can get your games out later and look, let’s go get your bag put away for now, okay?”

Joshua nods enthusiastically. “Mhm! I can do it all by myself!” He proclaims.

“Are you sure? I can help you if you really need.” Gordon offers his son.

“Nah man, he’s gonna uh… go achievement hunting without you bro, gonna. Get a pog.” Benry interrupts, making Josh break into a fit of giggles. 

“I like you, you’re funny!” He says to Benry, then takes off down the hall. “I’ll be back!” He calls over his shoulder. 

Gordon places his hand on his hip, watching Josh disappear into his room. He shakes his head. “If you let that kid talk about his games, you’re gonna be here a while.”

“He’s… just a baby…” Benry says softly, almost in disbelief. “He’s… tiny, bro.”

Gordon finally looks over at him again. He’s still holding a smile. “Yeah, he’s my baby. Actually, he was pretty big when he was first born, a chunky little guy.” He sighs wistfully at the memory. 

“Wow… I… Dude, I’m sorry all that Black Mesa shit happened.” For the first time, Benry sounds almost… sad.

That only confuses Gordon, who shrugs. “Hey, it is what it is. I made it back. Joshie’s still got his parent, and… we’re okay now. That’s all that really matters to me.”

Benry hums and looks like he’s going to say something more, but then Josh comes rushing back into the room, face planting into the couch before making himself comfortable. He’s looking up at Benry. 

“And daddy lets me watch him play Red Dead sometimes, because it’s a cowboy game!” He continues the conversation before like he hadn’t even left.

Benry smiles. “Heck yeah dude, cowboy game.”


	4. Enter; G-man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benry gets to meet this world's G-man, father to Tommy Coolatta and apparent friend to Joshua Freeman. They have a talk about how and why Benry is here. Not much comes of it, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gman is hard to write and even harder to read.  
> No triggers in this one! It's incredibly dialogue heavy, though

That night, Gordon had just finished settling Josh at the dinner table with a grilled cheese and a bowl of tomato soup when someone knocks at the door. He smiles and ruffles Joshua’s hair before going to answer it, already having a pretty good guess at who it is.

Sure enough, when the door swings open, Mister Coolatta is standing on the front stoop, looking as neutral as ever. He is, however, wearing a sweater with the pattern of a bowling alley carpet. Gordon’s sure Tommy got that for him.

“Heyyy Mister Coolatta… Come on in.” Gordon steps aside to make room for the man, who practically has to duck to fit through his door.

“Thank you. Mister Freeman.” Gordon will never get used to that strange, almost stuttery voice. “And this one- must be… Ben, ry.” With a nod of his head, he indicates the guard.

Benry, still not having moved, looks startled at the sight of the man, eyeing him warily. “‘Sup, Gary Man.”

G-man raises a brow, only slightly. He ignores the nickname. “I would like to. Speak with you on a… Few. Matters. If that is. Alright.”

“Uhhh yeah man, sure. Whatever.” Benry tenses up visibly as the man starts to come around the couch. A few orbs of yellow make it past his lips.

“G-dad!” Josh exclaims from the table when he spots the man. 

G-man takes pause, a small, tight smile pulling at his lips. Gordon knows from experience that that’s as close as he gets to emoting. “Hello, Joshua. How are you today?”

“‘M good! Daddy made grilled cheese, it’s yummy! Did ya come to meet his friend?” Josh tilts his head, bouncing in his seat. 

The entity seems to consider his next words carefully. “Your father’s… friend… and I are. Acquainted. Already. I am… visiting.” 

“Neat!” A pause. “Daddy, what’s that mean?”

Gordon chuckles. “Here, I’ll come tell you. G-dad and daddy’s friend have some adult stuff to talk about.” He makes his way over to the table, sitting down with his son to keep both of them from overhearing the conversation too much.

With the relative private that comes from the two being distracted, G-man turns his attention back to Benry. He gestures to the empty end of the couch. “May I?”

“Whatever.” He shrugs.

G-man nods once, rounding the couch the rest of the way. He perches on the edge of the cushion, feet flat on the floor, hands on his knees, body aimed to face Benry. Frankly it looks uncomfortable as hell. He clears his throat. “Something rather… odd has taken. Place here. You do not. Belong here.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Benry bites back, monotoned.

“What I mean. By that is… you are not the… Ben, ry from this world. The way that Mister Freeman described it, you. Were given access. To this world. By someone other than myself. How… I have yet. To discern. As I cannot… fully cross. Space-time. This is… most odd indeed.”

Benry sighs. “Great fuckin’ detective work, Sherlock. Would’ve… never fuckin’ guessed.”

G-man’s posture seems to slump for a moment as he thinks. “My apologies for. Stating what may seem. Obvious. I am collecting my thoughts.”

“Oh. ‘S cool.” Benry shrugs again, suddenly a lot less bitter.

“If I may… What were you doing when. The portal. Opened?” The entity’s head tilts ever so slightly. 

Benry swallows hard. He doesn’t want to think about it, clearly. “Getting my ass kicked pretty hard. Fucking… door opens in a room with no exit. You take that shit.”

“I see. So it was, for you. A means… of escape. From a digital world?”

“I guess.” Benry sighs. “Just didn’t wanna fuckin’... get hurt anymore. ‘S all.” 

G-man hums. “Fascinating. How such a transition… changed you.”

“Huh? No, ‘m still good ol’ Benny boy. Just uhhhhh IRL, graphics upgrade. Uhhh increased RAM. You know?” He almost-rambles.

“No, I mean the physical changes.” G-man indicates Benry as a whole with a wave. “Your change from. Digital. To Human. It seems to have…. been a smooth. Change.”

“What? ‘M not human.” He shrugs again.

“I am aware. You are… not human. In the same sense as. Mister Freeman. There are… differences. Clearly. However, your… physiology… is quite similar.”

“I’m gonna pretend I get what the fuck that means. Can you like. Fuck off now please thank you?” Benry tries. 

“I apologize for. Irritating you. I am simply trying to. Decide. How to handle this.” To his credit, G-man does sound sincere. 

“What, gonna fuckin’... kill me? ‘Cause I’m the big bad? Do it bro, see what happens.” Benry snaps, seeming to grow in size as he speaks. It’s a very slight change, but it’s clearly noticed as G-man shifts away.

G-man shakes his head. “No, I will not be. Attempting that. Unless I am given good reason. The Ben, ry that we knew was. Unsafe. In much different ways. What happened to, them, was in fact. A tragedy. That I do not think. Could have been avoided. You are… much different. As of now.”

As he lowers his metaphorical hackles, Benry goes back to his usual size. “So… what  _ are _ you gonna do with me?”

G-man glances to the table where Gordon and Josh are holding an animated conversation about some cartoon or other. “We are… more than likely. Going to find a way. To send you back to… Half-Life. I myself am not. Powerful enough. To do that alone. I am unsure if I. Could. Even with the help of… my son. It may take some time.” With that, the conversation seems to be over. G-man stands, folding his hands behind his back as he makes his way over to Gordon and Joshua. 

“Hi!” Joshua stops whatever conversation they were just having with that greeting.

“Hello again, Joshua.” G-man offers, then his attention goes to Gordon. “I will have to. Think. On this. Far more. I will contact you when I have. More details, if and… when. They makes themselves known.”

“Oh, yeah, okay man! That… didn’t take very long.” Gordon starts to stand, but G-man stops him with a gesture.

“I am aware. I apologize I cannot. Offer more… information. At the moment.” G-man’s eyes flicker back to Benry, who’s watching them intently. 

“Oh, hey, no, it’s… fine. I appreciate you coming over at all, man. I’ll, uh… wait for your call I guess. You know how to reach me.” Gordon gestures with his stub as if he’s waving the entity’s apology off.

“That, I do.” He glances to Joshua, patting his shoulder for a moment. As he does, he sets down a packet of Pokemon cards that he seemingly pulled from nowhere. “Good night, Freemen.” He gives a curt nod, then pivots and starts toward the door.

Joshua gasps, once again bouncing in his seat. He smiles, waving after the man enthusiastically. “Bye, G-dad! Thank you!”

Before the man even reaches the door, he’s gone, the air around where he had been warping with a strange noise. Benry cringes and leans away from it. 

“Tommy’s dad is weird, bro.” The guard offers.

Gordon nods reluctantly. “Yeah… but I figured he’s have some insight, right?”

“I like G-dad! He lets me talk about my shows, and gets me Pokemon cards!” He holds up the package to emphasize.

“Oh pog.” Benry offers, then falls quiet again.

“How about you finish dinner and go wash up so we can bust those bad boys open, okay?” Gordon replies, pointing to the pack of cards.

Josh nods, exchanging the cards in his hand for the spoon so he can finish his soup. “Yeah!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow sweet voice is "fear", by the way!!


	5. Bonding Over Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon gets fed up with Benry not moving or doing jack shit. He does something about it, and they end up having a serious talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters at once because the last one didn't have much substance! This one has more of the Gordon-Benry dynamic I wanna build :3  
> TW for Gordon talking about his depression and how it effects him  
> It's not too in depth, yet

It’s another three days before Gordon starts to get annoyed- and, admittedly, a little worried- with Benry not moving from the couch _at all_. 

In that time, he’d been able to talk to Coomer, briefly, and had gotten another call from Mister Coolatta, both of which yielded… not much. And Gordon wasn’t about to ask Coomer to rush his and Bubby’s vacation for this, Bubby would never let him hear the end of it. This time, when Gordon comes out of his room, he puts his hand on his hip and fixes Benry with a look. 

“Okay, you need to get something with substance in your body, dude. I’ve had enough of this.” He voices.

Benry turns his head to look at him over his shoulder. “Wh- huh? Good morning to you too, fuck dude.” He grumbles. 

“Seriously. You’re human, you need to at least drink some fucking water.” Gordon comes around to stand in front of him, only briefly noting that the Switch is on and Benry has the controllers. 

Benry rolls his eyes. “‘M not human, dipshit. ‘Sides, this is my couch now. I uhhhh live here. Yeah. You’re uhhh trespassing right now, bro. Why do you care anyway? You uhhh killed your me, you fuckin’... hate that guy. And me. Lmao.” He actually says “lmao”. 

“Oh, excuse me for not wanting to wake up one morning and find a _corpse_ on my couch! I _had_ to kill my Benry, you think I was happy about that? Think I wanted to? No, dude. He was my friend. I look at you and I see the friend I had to murder to protect the rest of my friends. I don’t wanna have to see that body a second time, so I’m making you some fucking toast and you’re eating that. You don’t get to argue with me.” Gordon snaps back with the firm tone of a father who’s had the “eat breakfast” argument before. 

Benry shuts up fast, a short stream of red-purple to lavender leaving his mouth. It isn’t Gordon’s tone that does it, rather what he says. He doesn’t dare discredit what Gordon had to go through. He hears some rustling in the kitchen and the sound of Gordon getting a plate. Only after he hears the click of the toaster starting does he decide to speak again. “So are you eating too?”

“What?” Gordon pokes his head out of the doorway.

“Are you having a breakfast too?” Benry repeats.

“I ate last night, I’m not hungry.” Gordon responds, disappearing and coming back with a glass of water. He brings it over to the guard. 

Benry eyes Gordon, then the glass, then Gordon again as he takes it. “You had half a hot pocket. And that morning, you had tube yogurt. You didn’t eat anything the day before.”

Gordon’s face scrunches up. “Dude, what the fuck. Why are you paying so much attention to what I eat? That’s weird. Drink your water.”

“Kinda not hard to miss. I’m in the middle of your house. I see everything. And also you reek of depression. Actually, you just reek, Stinkman. Take a fuckin’ shower, dude.” 

“I took a shower yesterday, too! And besides, you don’t know if I’m getting fuckin’... McDonald’s on the way home from dropping Josh off!”

“Uh huh.” Benry still stares, absolutely unconvinced. “‘M not drinking your fail water ‘til you agree to eat, like. An actual meal. You make ‘em for Josh.”

Gordon sighs, long and low, defeated. “Fuck you, man.” He grumbles, going back to the kitchen.

“Buy me dinner first.” Benry snaps back.

If Benry could see Gordon, he’d see the shocked, then embarrassed expression the man suddenly sports. He chooses not to respond, instead opting to just pull a box of macaroni and cheese from the pantry and starting on that. At the same time, the toaster pops up.

Benry, in the next room, finally takes a hesitant sip from the glass he was handed, staring down at it in surprise. “Holy shit…” He mumbles to himself, downing the rest in greedy gulps. He glances back to the doorway, then carefully stands and shuffles over. “Hey uhhhh. Can I get more of this water shit? Pretty pog.”

Gordon is placing a pot of water on the stove when Benry walks in, looking up at him. He offers a small smile. “Sure, dude. The sink’s filtered, use that. Just don’t drink too much at once. Might make you sick.” Once the water’s on the heat, he goes back to the freezer to start toasting waffles for Josh.

Benry nods, downing two more glasses before he slowly sets it down, stopping himself. For the first time, he looks around the kitchen; it’s big, but not huge. Gordon is leaning back against a section of counter next to the stove, scrolling through his phone. He’s clearly waiting for his water to boil. 

Benry looks next to the fridge, across from Gordon, and sees an open section of counter. He hops up on it easily, settling himself there. “So…” He starts.

Gordon looks up, setting his device down briefly to hand Benry a plate of toast with butter and jam on it. “Eat and talk. Just not with your mouth full, please.”

“Right, yeah.” Benry takes the plate, picking up a slice of toast and inspecting it before biting it. He does his best to hide how _fucking good_ it is, failing when a stream of teal spills out of his mouth. He clears his throat. “So… What’s your deal, man.”

Gordon raises a brow. “You’ve got to be more specific.” 

“The whole… not eating not showering crying at night thing.”

“What? I do not cry at night.” _Loudly_ , he adds silently.

“Okay, how ‘bout the other shit?”

“Sorry, but like… why do you care? I’m just trying to live my life, man.”

“And you’re major sucks at it, dude. Come on, you’re taking care of your kid. What’s the difference between taking care of him and taking care of you?” The question holds no mocking tone, it’s genuine, like he really is concerned for Gordon’s health.

“It’s… harder. I don’t know why, it’s just… so much harder to take care of myself. Showering sucks with one hand. Laundry is… easy to forget about. Eating… it just takes a lot out of me.” Gordon answers truthfully.

“Why not, I dunno… ask the Science Team for help?” With his plate empty, Benry sets that in the sink as well. 

“Coomer and Bubby aren’t home. Tommy has his own problems. Darnold and I weren’t ever really close, so… he’s out.” Gordon shrugs. “I’m still alive, sometimes that’s enough.”

Benry hums, unconvinced. Instead, he changes the subject. “You got enough macky cheese to share, bro?”

Gordon snorts, then laughs. It’s a good sound, really. “Yeah, I think there’s enough for two here. I’ll get you a bowl when it’s ready.”

Benry smiles, if slightly. “Pog.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Mauve to berry" sweet voice means "I'm so very sorry"  
> And of course teal means need meal!


	6. Through the Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon finally gets to work on some actual self-care. Benry helps out a little more directly, and in learning to trust Gordon more, has a question for him regarding his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title makes this sound a lot more serious than it is...

Gordon finally showers after setting Josh up with breakfast and Animal Crossing on the living room TV. Properly showers, not just standing under the water for ten minutes then jumping back out. No, Benry wasn’t going to let that happen. 

Yeah.  _ Benry _ is keeping an eye on him. At the very least, he agreed not to stand  _ in _ Gordon’s bathroom, but the former physicist can clearly hear him yelling through the bathroom door about making sure to wash behind his ears, or whatever. It’s… helpful, actually. To have someone nagging on him a little more. 

Not that he’d  _ ever _ tell Benry that. He’d never live it down.

Gordon finally shuts off the water, doing his best to wring out his hair before stepping out onto the small rug with a sigh. Okay. He does feel much better not being all gross, but he feels like he could go right back to sleep again. His right hand automatically reaches for his towel, then he remembers and switches. Hair patted somewhat dry first to keep it from dripping  _ everywhere _ , then everything else. 

There’s a soft knock at the door, followed by Benry’s voice. “Hey Stinkman, how’d it go? You still fuckin’ gross n’ shit?”

Gordon snorts. “No, and I don’t stink, either!” He calls back. He unfolds the jeans and t-shirt be brought with him, starting to get dressed. Once everything is on, he pulls the door open. “Gordon Cleanman, reporting for duty.” He states with an eye roll. 

Benry looks over from across the room, where he seemed to have been inspecting the various papers attached to Gordon’s wall. Most of them are drawings and art projects Josh made, along with his framed diploma and PhD off to one side. Arguably, they’re less important, anyway.

The guard, still clad in his full uniform, shuffles over to lean on the doorframe of the bathroom. “Room’s a fuckin’ mess, bro.”

“Yeah, yeah… I know, but it could be a lot worse.” Gordon replies, starting to run a comb through his hair. It keeps getting stuck on tangles, though. 

“Doesn’t mean it’s gotta be bad.” He shrugs, watching Gordon struggle with his hair and  _ repeatedly _ try to reach with his missing hand. He frowns. “You want… help?”

Gordon only gives out a small “hm?” followed by a questioning look. “Cleaning my room? That’s funny, you didn’t tell me you doubled as a clown.” His confusion turns to a smirk.

“Honk honk, bitch, fuckinnnn’ uhh Clownry… No, dude, I meant with that fuckin’ mop on your head.” He nods slightly to indicate Gordon’s hair.

That has him setting the comb down to turn and look at Benry completely. “Dude… What the fuck. Like, no offence, but why are you suddenly so goddamn nice? And like… worried about me and shit?”

“‘S uh… I gotta. Um.” He smacks his lips. “Least I can do. You haven’t… thrown me out. So… I gotta.”

“You haven’t done anything to  _ get _ thrown out, Benry. You sat on my couch for a few days, but like… you didn’t cause any problems. I don’t get why you gotta, man, that’s all.” Gordon huffs, fingers starting to try and work his hair out.

“I uh…. Broke in. Fuckin’... thinkin’ with portals, bro. Makin’ you uncomfy as fuck in your house with your kid n’ shit… Benry fucked up moments.” The guard continues to ramble, pulling his helmet down lower. “Wanna uh… make it up to you kinda? Benry help please maybe?” 

“If it’ll make you feel better, I do appreciate you trying to help. It’s… you know, kinda weird, but… Yeah.” Gordon offers him a genuine smile, gesturing past him. “Lemme out, please?”

“Hair first question mark?” Benry retorts, bracing an arm across the door to keep Gordon from leaving. 

With a sigh, Gordon puts his hand up. “Okay, fine. Just don’t fucking… pull it. Or do some weird fucked up alien shit to it. Should I like… sit down, or…?”

Benry grins, motioning for Gordon to turn to the mirror. “Epic. Gonna fuckin’... fix that shit bro.”

Gordon does as he’s asked, squinting into the mirror at himself. He doesn’t have his glasses on yet, but even through the blur, he can tell his hair is a mess. Then, to his absolute shock, Benry gets  _ big _ as he moves behind him. Not huge, not massive, not like on Xen- even if this is a different Benry-, but he does get much larger. Large enough to be slightly taller than Gordon after previously only reaching his shoulder.

“What the fuck?!” Gordon exclaims, whipping back around.

“Bro chill, I gotta reach your cringe head. Relax, I got this.” He reassures, monotone as ever. A bit of blue sweet voice bubbles off his lips. “‘M not human, remember? Fuckin’ scale up like a jpeg.”

With a nervous chuckle, Gordon faces the mirror again. “Uhhh yeah, okay man…” And then Benry’s fingers are in his hair, cold against his scalp and making him flinch slightly. Benry either doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care, gently working through the tangles he finds before doing it again. 

“You’re tense. Like… all fuckin’ coiled up bro. Gonna hurt yourself like that, relax.” Benry says as he reaches for the comb, even more blue slipping out. 

Gordon mentally scolds himself for being  _ disappointed _ he switched to that. He does relax, though. Hands running through his hair like that is a nice feeling, even if it is Benry. And the effects of the sweet voice are pretty immediate. “Hey… since you’re doing this… can I ask you a favor?”

Even in the blurry reflection, he can see Benry raise an eyebrow. “‘Sup?”

Gordon reaches for the mirror, which doubles as the medicine cabinet and pulls it open. Benry keeps a loose enough hold on his hair to let the man lean forward and search for what turns out to be a small bag of hair ties. Those get handed off to the guard. “I… Look, I’ve been trying for weeks to put it up, but I just… can’t fucking get it. Since… since you’re here and already willing to help, could you…”

Benry takes the bag, fishing out a black band and slipping it around his wrist. “Yeah dude, no problem. You’ll get it someday, don’t worry.”

For some reason, that small phrase is taken as reassurance, and the part of Gordon’s brain that needs it the most wants to cry. He doesn’t let it, though, just nods slightly, and lets Benry finish combing out the knots.

* * *

With Benry back to what Gordon guesses is his normal size, the former physicist is finally let out of the bathroom and back into his bedroom. He tosses the clothes he had been wearing into the overly full hamper, making a mental note he won’t bury to actually do some laundry the next day. Until then, he goes over to his dresser, searching through it to find something clean. While he’s at it, he slips his glasses back on, too.

“You know it’s your turn now, right?” He says to Benry, who followed him out and plops down on his bed.

“Wha? Huh.” He asks. 

“Yep. I didn’t get to argue, neither do you.” Gordon states, finding an old band tee and some flannel pants. Both are going to be too big for Benry, more than likely.

“No, I uh…” Benry’s voice drops some. “I didn’t… hear you.”

“Oh… I said it’s your turn.” He raises his voice ever so slightly, facing Benry now. “You don’t have to shower, I just think you should get out of that whole thing. It doesn’t seem comfortable.” He makes his way over to the man, holding out the clothes. 

Benry looks from him, to the clothes, then back again, eyes narrowing. “What’s the catch, bro?”

“Catch is they smell like me, but like… the clean version of me. And that you can’t, like… eat them. I’m letting you borrow them for now, that’s it.”

“‘M not gonna fuckin’  _ eat _ your clothes, Feetman. That’s gross.” He rolls his eyes, finally taking them and getting back to his feet. 

Gordon smiles. “Cool. I’ll give you some privacy, you can wash up if you really feel like it, the dry towel is clean if you want.” He turns to leave, only to have his arm caught before he leaves. He glances back to Benry. “Oh?”

“Uh… I um… there’s…” Gray bubbles off of his lips, gradually turning darker as it fades. “You’re smart. I um…”

Gordon stops, turning back to him. He’s suddenly a little more worried. “Hey, what is it? Look man, you don’t  _ have _ to tell me anything if you don’t-”

He’s cut off by Benry shaking his head. “No, look man, it’s just- Fuck, it’ll be easier if I just… show you.” He swallows, unzipping his vest down the front and letting it drop from his shoulders. It hits the carpet with a dull thud. “This isn’t- I’m not trying to… Look. No homo, bro. I’m not trying to come onto you or anything, I just…” Shaking hands reach to undo his tie, and the buttons of his shirt, darker sweet voice bubbling up. 

“Whoa, Benry, easy. I can’t say I understand what you mean, but just try to breathe, dude. It’s okay. If something’s wrong, I’m willing to listen.” Gordon reassures, moving to take a seat on his bed where Benry set the clothes he was previously holding. 

Benry nods twice, turning around as he finishes unbuttoning his shirt. He shoves it off of his shoulders and arms. It falls with his vest, the tie going with it. 

What the fabric reveals is something Gordon doesn’t quite understand. Across Benry’s back is a network of what looks like cracks, some thick, some thin, and some where it looks like there are chips missing. All of it radiates from one wide, shallow hole in the center of his back which seems to sparkle when it catches the light. 

“Oh my god…” Gordon breathes, slowly standing. “What… is this?”

Benry shrugs. “Uh… So like. I’m a uh… an AI right? I got… a character file. My kid… I think he’s a kid… He keeps me on this flash drive so he can take me from game to game, y’know?” By now, Benry is shaking. “And uh… you know, kids get pissed, they break shit. I’m shit. I get…”

“Broken… This is…” Gordon steps closer, automatically reaching out to touch the lines. He stops himself short, though. “Can… I touch? Will that hurt?”

Another shrug. “Only hurts when they snap open. You can if you need to.”

Gordon nods, though Benry can’t see him. His fingers lightly brush over a line near Benry’s shoulder, feeling the difference in definition. His eyes trail to the larger hole, the center of the damage. His fingers trail there, tracing the shape. He thinks he hears Benry whine, but the sound is stifled by the soft sound of Benry producing sweet voice. Blue this time, for himself, Gordon assumes. 

“Why are you showing me this…?” Gordon asks softly, resting his palm against the other’s back. 

“You’re… you know, smart scientist guy. I’ve never been in real life. Never… been hungry like that, never thirsty. I was- wanted to uh, to know if… what they would…” He trails off, and Gordon thinks he understands. 

“Right, okay… No that makes sense, I’m… kind of glad you’re comfortable enough for that.” His hand moves, giving Benry’s shoulder a light squeeze. For Benry’s sake, he ignores the soft sound, and the way he leans into his hand. For Gordon’s sake, he hopes Benry doesn’t turn around and see the red rising in his cheeks. “I don’t… think it’ll be a problem. If they don’t hurt, and they don’t cause problems, then… I don’t see a reason to worry. I’d keep an eye on it if I were you, though. And… You know, I’m not that kind of doctor.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, just… Got scared…” Benry mumbles, then at full volume adds. “Uh, thanks, Gordon. For everything so far. I uhhhh fuckin’ owe you one, dude.” 

Before Gordon can respond, Benry is turning around, head down, snatching up the clothes and taking off into the bathroom. The door closes, then locks. Gordon sets his hand on his hip, looking after the man for a moment. Then he shakes his head, and exits. “Can’t wait for  _ this _ to get weirder…” He mumbles to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blue sweet voice has a calming effect, gray and shades of it signal distress, and that goes with black signaling a panic attack.  
> Thanks for reading the newest chapter, comments are appreciated!


	7. Epic Gamer Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gordon and Benry take some time to bond with each other over a somewhat competitive round of Wii Sports. Gordon makes a bet with his new buddy to make things a little more interesting. It was supposed to be a joke, and then it isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No warnings or anything needed for this one! Gordon also has a lil convo with Coomer, who proves himself to be pretty protective of the physicist! Dad Coomer is Best Coomer imo
> 
> Also sorry it took so long to update! School and work got me :V

Benry isn’t comfortable without his helmet. At least, Gordon has to guess this is the case, considering he’s still wearing it after  _ his _ shower. Not that he cares, honestly. It’s Benry’s choice, but it’s still nice to see him in something other than a Black Mesa security uniform. The clothes for that go straight in the wash, between loads of Gordon’s own laundry. If Benry does ask, he hopes he won’t mind too much. 

After getting Josh into the carpool to get to school, that’s what Gordon spends the rest of the morning sorting out; what’s clean, what’s not, finding good sheets… anything fabric. It’s the most productive he’s been in months, and it’s absolutely  _ exhausting _ . 

Just after noon, Gordon is in clean clothes, has showered, eaten, and  _ really, really _ wants to take a nap. He sets himself down heavily on the couch next to Benry, but with some distance between them. The TV is on, and this time playing a game. Benry has the controller. 

“Hey, you found the N64.” Gordon points out, his voice a little shaky. 

“Yeah. Mini Gordon showed me the other night. He uhhh likes Mario 64.” Benry explains, glancing Gordon’s way. “Hey man, you good? Lookin’ kinda…” He smacks his lips. “Lookin’ kinda pale.”

“Huh? No, dude, ‘m good. Just took a lot out of me, all that running around. Just need to catch my breath.” Saying that, he leans his head back against the couch, eyes closed.

There’s a long moment of just sounds from the game before Benry speaks up again. “You’re doing good.”

“Hm?” Gordon peeks an eye open.

“With uhhhh… fuckin’ cleaning. ‘S good. Doin’ good.” The guard- ex-guard- repeats.

That… does something to Gordon. Makes him feel lighter, happier. He smiles genuinely. “Thanks, man.”

Benry hums in response and the sounds of his game fill back in along with the click of the controller being used. Gordon begins to fade out, relaxing finally… Until his ass starts to vibrate. He jolts back up, shifting awkwardly to fish his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans. He blinks the tired out of his eyes, recognizing Coomer’s picture on the screen. “Oh shit…” He mumbles, standing to leave the room. Benry watches him go, expression unreadable.

“Hey, Doctor Coomer.” He finally greets, doing his best to sound cheery.

“Guten tag, Gordon!” Comes the instant response. They must still be in Germany. “Professor Bubby and I are still in Berlin, I sent you pictures! Nature is beautiful here!” A muffled “DOCTOR!” is heard from Coomer’s end, followed by Coomer’s snickering.

“Oh, you did? Sorry, I must have missed them.” Gordon goes to rub the back of his neck, but stops himself.

“I noticed. You haven’t been answering our text messages lately, Gordon. Is everything alright?” The scientist asks, sounding genuinely concerned. 

“Uh…” Gordon hesitates. Hoo boy. “Yeah, I’ve just been busy around here. You know, keeping up on the house ‘n stuff.” He laughs a little, hoping that covers his bases.

The seconds of silence on the other end is deafening. “Now Gordon, if something is wrong, you can tell me, alright? We’re here for you, even if we aren’t in the States right now.”

Another moment of hesitation. There’s a pull in his chest. “Something happened, Coomer… something weird, and it’s getting better, it really is, but- Look…”

“Now Gordon, you sound distressed. Please take a moment to breathe.” There’s some shuffling on Coomer’s end for a moment. “What’s going on?”

“Listen… don’t tell Bubby yet, okay…? It’d just stress him out and I don’t want to ruin your vacation at all…” Gordon explains.

“Alright… I won’t yet unless I have to.” Coomer agrees.

“So… Benry is here. But not- not like.. Not our Benry. Not the guy we had to- not… He’s different. He’s a different Benry, Coomer. I talked to Mister Coolatta about it… he doesn’t think anything can be done right now…” He trails off.

“Gordon.” Coomer’s voice darkens. “What has he done?”

The former physicist cringes. “Nothing! Nothing, I mean… He hasn’t tried to hurt me, he’s actually… he’s been really good with Josh… and to me. Like, yeah, he’s kind of a prick, but he’s… I don’t think he’s going to hurt us at all.”

“You better be right. I will personally manifest in your home and tear him limb from limb otherwise. If he dares hurt either of you, Gordon, you tell me immediately.” Coomer practically growls through the receiver. 

“I will, I will, don’t worry.” Gordon can’t help but agree. “Really though, it’s… I want you guys to have fun, it’s not… that urgent.”

“Don’t worry, Gordon!” And he’s cheery again. “We were planning on returning home after Germany anyway! It’s about time to refuel, haha!”

Gordon nods. “Right, yeah… you guys have been gone for a while, I’m actually starting to miss you.” He chuckles. 

“We miss you too, Gordon. Do take a look at those pictures, will you? Bubby let me take some rather nice ones of him!”

“I will, Coomer, don’t worry. Let me know when you’ll be back, alright?”

“But of course! We’ll see you soon, goodbye Gordon!”

“Bye Coomer.” A couple seconds later, the call disconnects and Gordon lets out a sigh. He wonders if Coomer’s going to tell Bubby anyway, and decides he’ll know if they’re on their way home by the end of the night. 

Tucking his phone away again, heading back to the living room. He reaches the couch and pauses, staring down at Benry.

Benry, by now, has stretched out across the cushions, taking up as much space as he possibly can. It looks like he even made himself bigger to do so. “Benry.”

“Hm? What. Oh hey Feetman.” He says flatly, not even looking away from the screen.

“Where am I supposed to sit?” Gordon raises a brow.

“Uhhh on the couch dummy, lol.” Benry clearly fights back the smile trying to pull at his lips.

“There’s no room, you’re taking up the whole thing! Come on, man!” He throws his hand up. 

“Oh shit sounds personal. Better uhhhh figure it out, man.” Okay, now he’s  _ openly _ smirking. 

“Dick.” Gordon rolls his eyes, plopping himself down on the floor right in front of Benry to block his view of the TV. 

“No, ‘m Benry. Old man forgettin’ shit.” The game pauses, Gordon having achieved his goal. “Hey, you got uhhh… Wii Sports? Huh? You a fake gamer or you got Wii Sports?”

Gordon turns around, offended. “Excuse you! I  _ am  _ a gamer! And I  _ do _ own Wii Sports!” He stands, grabbing the remote to switch inputs and grab a pair of Wii remotes off the shelf next to the screen. He tucks them under his damaged arm, setting up the game as well. “I can beat your ass at anything that doesn’t need two hands, little man!”

“Are you  _ trash talking,  _ Feetman?” Benry grins, back to his normal size and sitting up. He takes the remote when it’s offered to him.

“No, I’m just stating facts. The fact is, I’m gonna beat you at every single one of these games, Benny boy.” By now, Gordon is grinning too, selecting the game from the start menu as he sits down.

“Mean Gordon.  _ Mean _ to Benny boy.” Benry fake pouts.

* * *

They argued over what game to play first for five minutes. Luckily both agree that Wii golf is bullshit, but that didn’t stop Benry from laughing at Gordon every time he missed a shot. To get back at him, Gordon makes constant jabs at Benry’s inability to keep the ball in the court during tennis. No, no matter how many times he calls it a secret strat, it’s not going to make a difference. 

Their banter goes back and forth like that for a while, a long while that has both laughing and genuinely having  _ fun _ together. It’s something Gordon didn’t expect, actually having fun with Benry, of all people, by his side. But here they are, both standing and getting way too into each game. 

The play session is ending on bowling, the game Benry claims to be on the “S-tier” of Wii sports games. It’s not like he disregarded boxing at all, that good, that’s fine,  _ really,  _ Gordon tells him. 

“Hey, you can’t even box, li’l clumsy boy… missing a hand ‘n shit, can’t beat Matt.” Benry sticks his tongue out at the taller man as he swings back and lets the virtual ball go. He’s on his second shot for that square, nailing the last four pins for a spare. That puts him even farther ahead of Gordon, making said man glare at the “spare” screen. 

This is the last set and it’s his turn. Gordon can still do this if he hits a strike, that’s how close their scores are. “Hey, hey, I could still do it! Duct tape the nunchuck to my stub, see what happens!” Oof, that’s a hell of a sentence. 

“No, you’d still lose ‘cause you’re a little baby man. Can’t uh… can’t box, can’t bowl for shit…” Grinning like a fool, Benry sits back down on the couch, folding his hands behind his helmet. 

“Oh yeah? Let’s bet on it if you’re so damn sure!” Gordon snaps, whirling around to face him. 

Benry raises a brow. “Oh yeah? You gambling now? That’s uhh illegal, y’know. Gonna have to uhhhh get a permit for that, show me please?” Benry holds out his hand like he’s expecting Gordon to hand him something. 

“No, let’s bet. Come on, we don’t have to use money, I know you’re flat broke. How about if I win-” He freezes momentarily, looking the guard over. “If I win this game, you take your helmet off and show me what you’ve got hiding under there!” He smirks. It’s not a big deal, right? Just for fun anyway.

Benry’s eyes widen slightly at that. “Okay, sure, yeah. You win, you get to see ol’ Benny boy’s mop. If I win, I get a kiss.~” He winks, then cackles at the look on Gordon’s face. 

“Okay, now I  _ definitely _ wanna win!” Gordon snaps, turning back to the TV to line up his shot.

Benry pouts even though Gordon can’t see him anymore. “Hey, come on, gonna hurt a guy’s feelings like that? Gordon Meanman.”

“Oh come on, you don’t wanna kiss me either!” He swings back, hesitates, swings, lets go and watches the ball curve-

Right into the gutter.

Gordon freezes in the follow-through, staring in disbelief at the screen. “FUCK!” He barks, dropping his arm and the remote. It hang from his wrist by the strap as he turns to face Benry again. “Fucking calibration fucked up or something, fucking…”

“Oh- uhhhh shit man, you fucked it. Gordon epic fail moments. That one’s going in the comp, haha…” Benry sputters, turning a light shade of pink up to the shadow over his eyes. “...You don’t. Have to kiss me, by the way. That was just… for laughs. For the lols.”

“You know what, no. No, you know what? A bet’s a bet, asshole, don’t say shit you don’t mean!” Gordon snaps, stepping up to him, bending down and sloppily crashing their lips together. He ignores the burning in his cheeks as he pulls back, quickly moving to the kitchen. “Fucking remote fucking me up ‘n shit…” He grumbles.

Benry, left wide-eyed on the couch, lets a red-pink bubble of sweet voice past his lips. His face almost matches the color of it. It hasn’t quite dissipated when Gordon returns, looking a lot more regretful. 

“Uh… Bet’s a bet… sorry man…” He awkwardly moves his hand to get the wrist strap of the Wii remote off. Once he’s free, the hand goes to run through his hair, pulling his ponytail loose. “You okay…?”

The previously shocked look on Benry’s face suddenly becomes a sneer. “You know you coulda at least made it  _ good _ , didn’t know you’re sucks at kissing too, bro. Cringe as fuck.”

Gordon’s turn for his face to change colors. “Do you…  _ want _ me to give you a better one?”

“Fucking do it, you won’t!” Benry snaps, more red-pink escaping as he speaks. 

“I will! Don’t test me!” Gordon says in return, sitting down next to Benry in a way that their legs are pressed together. That has the guard’s attention. His hand comes to rest on Benry’s cheek, turning his head to face him and pulling him closer as he leans in.

“Gordon…?” Benry breathes. 

“You wanted a do-over, I’m giving you a do-over. Stop me if you don’t.” Gordon replies softly, waiting a few long, long seconds for Benry to pull away. 

He doesn’t.

Gordon licks his lips. 

Okay, he’s doing this. It’s just a kiss, that’s it. 

He closes the space between them, eyes falling closed as their lips get more firmly pressed together. Benry doesn’t move, and Gordon realizes he isn’t even breathing. He pulls back at that realization, thumb rubbing a gentle circle into the other’s skin.

“Um…” Gordon starts.

A stream of red-pink flies from Benry’s mouth and smacks Gordon in the face at that instant, making him back away completely. “Fuck bro…” He mumbles.

“What the fuck was  _ that?! _ ” Gordon snarks, swatting the sweet voice away. When it hit him, it made his chest squeeze and his hands shake, and now there’s butterflies in his stomach because of it, and-

_ Red like blush, I have a crush. _

The rhyme makes itself up in Gordon’s head, and that makes him freeze. “ _ Oh _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gordon's translation is *almost* right  
> "Berry red like blush, I think I have a crush"  
> But he's close enough! 
> 
> Comments are appreciated, thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments and feedback are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!!


End file.
